Found!

Hey everybody! Stop looking! No more crawling around necessary! Found 'em! Whew! Man, these things are so expensive. I'm so glad I didn't have to order a replacement pair. Thanks for looking, though. Seriously, I really appreciate it.

Fare Thee Well, Ginger

From his MySpace post:

"I was fired. I was not fired by anyone in this office in Dallas, but by a corporate office outside of Dallas. The reason on my goodbye letter says "you are being terminated today as a result of the performance issues we have discussed with you on multiple occasions." I will better dispute both the "performance issues" and the "multiple occasions" in the near future, but I'm trying to both tread cautiously and answer all of the "WHAT THE FUCK?" questions at the moment. All will be answered before too long, but I figure this bit of info should be at least a little more illuminating. Will be broadcasting more before too long. Thanks -SM"

Like Wee Demon, I'm keepin' the ol' mouth shut. Sam can offer info on the expiration of his Dallas Observer music editor-ship as he pleases. I'm merely using this forum to say:
We'll miss you, buddy. We wish you the very best. Oh, and I can still whoop your ass at Surgical Darts and DDR. Toogans, bootch.

i'm going to have to call bullshit...

last night we went to the cavern to see noah "pretty voice" bailey play. now i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that noah and i do not have very similar music tastes, but he puts together tunes i really enjoy. good stuff. we should have left after his performance, ending the evening on a high note, but no, we decided to stick around for a little bit and check out the next band, sarah reddington. (*note: i'm only providing a link on the off chance that you actually care.) what a godawdful mistake. i'm fairly convinced that they're really a bunch of kids from mesquite who heard that denton was super cool and want to sound like all that alt-more-lou-barlow-than-acutally-country-rock-but-pitchfork-says-it's-the-next-big-thing-so-who-are-we-to-argue-hey-the-theater-fire-rules bands out there. no thanks. i'm gonna have to pass on that one. i can't decide if this new crop of "denton cool" is more or less annoying than the dirty rockers or the art school hipsters. regardless, they're always going to be way cooler than me, know more, have better taste and shittier attitudes than anyone i know....because nothing's ever going to be as cool as denton.

except for growing up and learning that growing a beard is just the denton-boy version of an abercrombie shirt, pearl snaps and all.

Go Here Tonight

To hear my Night & Day partner in crime, Noah W. Bailey (aka the Naptime Shake) sing his alt-country/folk heart out.

You can simultaneously celebrate the FDA's decision for over-the-counter availability of Plan B.

Jen Was Right

Patrice is gone. Get your Rock Star: Supernova update here at Unfair Park.

This week in...

the Dallas Observer:

I have my first Dish column on a disappointing Plano rotisserie.

And the Girl on Top checks out the peace camp in Crawford. No one asked, but I think it's her best column yet.

while planning a vacation, take note:

i spend waaay too much time typing random things into the search bar at wikipedia. i admit it, it's an addiction. i'm just training my mind for my eventual battle with trebek when i make it onto jeopardy....

so the best entry this week? i'm going to have to give that one to the list of car-free places all over the world. if you know me (and i think you do), then you are aware of my dislike of driving and sometimes even riding in cars. i hate car travel. i just do. i don't get carsick or anything like that -- i just distrust 99.9% of the drivers out there, and i have the feeling that they will all be hitting me at some point in the future. i'm glad to see that my upcoming trip to montreal with have a nice car-free break when i wander around the underground tunnel-city-thing, but i do fear the mole people...pay close attention to the facts though -- for some reason the damn pearl street mall in boulder is listed, and i don't think that should really count (it's called a walking mall for the love of god). regardless, i think i shall have to become friends with the carfree people.

W, X, Y and...

Zayra Alvarez
Photo: © Danny Moloshok / Blue Pixel for MBP 2006

This is something we won't be seeing tonight on Rock Star: Supernova.

Tonight, I Got Four Words For You...

mickey and goofy should go kick some ass

there is a conspiracy going on. no, i'm not talking about the freemasons (don't even get me started on that one), but rather the pluto-haters.

once again, there are people out there trying to take planethood away from my beloved pluto. people are trying to take all of his special, unique qualities and use them against him and i for one won't stand for it. sure, there are people alive today who remember a time when there were only 8 plants, but i tell you what -- 8 is not great.

it appears that the international astronomical union (the bilderbergers of spacemen perhaps?) are meeting next week to decide the fate of my beloved iceball as they try to come up with an official definition of "planet" . their proposed definition of a planet?:

A planet is a celestial body that (a) has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape, and (b) is in orbit around a star, and is neither a star nor a satellite of a planet.

sounds all nice and dandy, right? whatever. with this new definition we would be getting 3 more planets, with the potential of having dozens if not hundreds more in years to come. oh, but don't worry. they won't all be planets planets. there'll be new planet categories like "small solar system body" and "pluton" in addition to the 8 normal "classical planets" -- and guess who's going to be shuffled over to the side. it's like they're intentionally trying to push pluto over into a side group which will be so overrun with random globs of matter in our solar system just so that he can get lost in the mess. oh, but they're trying to make it sound all nice, like, "well pluto, you're not one of us anymore, but you get the be the leader of all the little ones, isn't that nice?" well screw that. it'd be like having to move back to the kids table at holidays just because your uncle's table only has 8 formal chairs. pluto should just grab a kitchen chair and squeeze back in with the adults -- that's what i always do...

learning things from merritt

i suggest you listen to nerver about this spout thing (not to be confused with "sprout", which is what i thought it was called initially). here's me on that crazy interweb thing. i'm working on it.

something i learned from merritt's geographic quiz -- there's a difference between the republic of congo and the democratic republic of congo, and i don't understand why they would have a country named niger right next to nigeria. maybe they should think about using north niger and south niger... grand total of 91 points and i have no idea how i pulled that much off.

the rest of my scores will be posted shortly...

What a Wonderful World

Cube mate Noah just hooked me up with this selection of geography quizes. This proves that I know jack skink about the locations of African countries (love that score of 45) but have fairly good memory retention. In my defense, I did not take my Adderall today.

Jen will trounce my ass on all of these I'm sure.

A Dose of Reality...TV

Check out Unfair Park for my Rock Star: Supernova update. Also some mention of Project Runway--seriously, what was UP with Vincent's design? Two words: Aw. Ful. Some part of me says that not being able to walk is worse than wearing a slightly unflattering dress. But anyway...

Check out this odd little bird, Spout. According to Daily Candy, it's a blend of Netflix and MySpace. Cool, right? You can tag films, then search by tags to see if other people have tagged movies you might like. Some are available for purchase. If you wanna, here's my profile so you can be my Spout peep. (Or comment and I'll send an invite to add you.) I'm not totally sure of the ins and outs of this thing, but so far, when I searched tags that interested me ("creepy," for instance), a crop of awesome movies came up. Many were already on my Netflix cue and some are now. It's cool if not a tad confusing.

ok, now they're pushing it

so imagine my surprise on seeing this little gem this morning:

The Word of the Day for August 17 is:

thank-you-ma'am • \THANK-yoo-mam\
• noun : a bump or depression in a road; especially : a ridge
or hollow made across a road on a hillside to cause water to run off

Example sentence: "That night on the way home, thinking of his pleasant visit, he was suddenly shaken out of his tranquility . . . when his touring car hit a 'thank-you-ma'am' in the unpaved road." (Hugh Manchester, Centre Daily Times [State College, PA], August 22, 2000)

Did you know? "Thank-you-ma'am" might seem like an odd name for a bump in the road, but the expression makes a little more sense if you imagine the motion your head would make as you drove over such an obstacle. Most likely, the jarring would make you nod involuntarily. Now think of the nodding gesture you make when you're thanking someone or acknowledging a favor. The "thank-you-ma'am" road bump is believed to have received its name when someone noted the similarity of those two head bobbing motions. It's a colloquialism particular to American English, and its earliest printed use is found in Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's 1849 prose piece, Kavanagh: "We went like the wind over the hollows in the snow;—the driver called them 'thank-you-ma'ams,' because they make every body bow."

i mean really. that's what merriam-webster thought i should learn today?

So I'm a Little Slow

Sorry folks. Big deadline at the office. But as promised, here's the link to the Blood on the Moors post over at Unfair Park.

Kinsmen Unite!

monkeys monkeys ted and alice

i think i've been waiting for next tuesday for the last ten years of my life. grover, max, otis and the rest of the gang will be able to reside in my dvd player starting next tuesday when criterion finally makes miracles come true: kicking and screaming on dvd.

no, i'm not talking about that godawful looking movie with will ferrell. i'm talking about the noah baumbach classic (yes, i said classic) about a group of college friends and their lives after graduation. i'm not going to tell you all the great things about this movie (do you have a few hours?), i just think you should all take my advice and get it. now. i mean next week. cast interviews, deleted scenes, and a short are now included, so i would be buying this thing even if my vhs tape weren't dying on me. i remember originally seeing this movie as part of the film series thing at cu-boulder with jayson. instantly it became a favorite for both of us -- i don't think a day has gone by that i haven't unintentionally quoted it. and i can only think of one person who has ever seen it and didn't like it -- and he was british so you can't trust his opinion.

if only they would release trust on dvd now, my life would truly be complete...

nothing rhymes with virginia

tonight will be spent watching the 2-hour season finale of hell's kitchen. sadly, i don't think i'll be very happy with the winner, whether it's virginia or heather. i'm to the point now where i don't really care for either of them. i do have to applaud keith's statement of "i think you have a hard on for virginia" to chef ramsey when he got cut and she made it into the final two. oh, so true. i'm standing by my belief that she must be the best lay in the world to have made it as far as she has. at least number 7 steve never stooped so low to win.

if you love lists as much as i do (which is highly unlikely because i'm an uberdork), take a peek at pitchfork's list of the 200 greatest songs of the 1960s (which they'll be unveiling all week long). the crazy fools put the best song of all time, "build me up buttercup", at the low position of 194. there's something intrinsically wrong with this list as far as i'm concerned, but i may continue reading as the week progresses, if only to notice the striking physical similarities between the bands of the 60s and all the super cool hip indie kids of today. or just because i'm a sucker for a list.

now we will all patiently wait for never's review of the blood on the moors show from saturday night....

I Can't Stop Laughing

An Unfair Park update: I been hitting the blog sauce a little heavy these days.

Check out my rant against transit in Dallas, report on an unholy radio battle and Rock Star: Supernova update from yesterday. That's right, I beat out Robert "fingers of fury" Wilonsky on word count. Don't think I'm not proud.

Today, we got a post on votin' for Slowride. Oh yeah, vote for Slowride here, even if you don't read Unfair Park.

And, regarding my inability to stop laughing: Huge, mad, unwaning props go to Wee Demon, aka Girl On Top for this:

The "Yakkity Sax" soundtrack over that last walk is really what makes it for me, I think. If you're confused, this should clear things up.

Heartache to heartache, we dance.

In my dancing muscians series, I present a classic that illustrates just what happens when a classically trained opera singer goes pop-n-lock: Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield"



You gotta love choreographed ladies o' the night. Work it girls! "We are young!"

how many yellows does a person need?

in honor of pimplomat's upcoming back to school party (or really back to school season in general), i started thinking about the school supplies i heart so very much. realistically that translates to "all school supplies", expecially notebooks (steno pads are my preferred writing tablet).

unfortunately, i've always had a very love/hate relationship with crayons. in particular crayola. you see, mom was working two jobs to support her two rotten kids (me and my brother), so we never splurged when it came to supplies. if the list said "2 pocket folders (brads optional)", my folders would arrive sans brads. "glue and/or glue stick"? you betcha i just got glue. thank god in hindsight, because kids always seemed to have problems with that glorified paste-lipstick-looking-thing... i managed just fine given the circumstances, but what killed me every year was the fact that whatever crayon count the list said i needed (be it 8, 16, or 24), that's what i got. i never got the 48-count cube-o-color or *gasp* the 64-count brick, complete with crayon sharpener, no matter how much i begged, pleaded, and cried. i took extra special care of the few crayons i had though, taking great care to never push too hard (i hated the stubby nosed crayons that surfaced after tense coloring sessions) and i never, ever let crayon-breakers borrow mine. after a few months, i would have the only undamaged black crayon in school, thank you very much.

so where am i going with this whole thing, you ask. well, i'm having issues with crayola still, and their need to retire colors or change their names. i can understand to a certain extent the need to change flesh to peach, but come on people. did you really need to take away my teal blue and turn it into wild blue yonder or swap out mulberry (a classic since 1958) and give me effing "mango tango"? and don't even get me started on inchworm. for you color nerds like myself, check it: the wiki list of crayola colors, charted by year. my, how they've grown.

p.s. my mom would probably appreciate it if i told you i got the super jumbo classic crayon collection in college, complete with crayons, colored pencils, markers, and oldtime-y packaging. it only took 15 years, but hey.

Dance, magic, dance.

So after yesterday, I decided why not try to find more videos featuring band-involved choreography? In fact, why not have a series this week? (And let me just make it clear that in this series, I'll focus on bands that are not known for their dancing. So no JT, no Missy, no Madonna and the like.)
Turns out, I had inadvertanly already linked to one earlier with my reference to underrated actor Noah Taylor's participation in a Nick Cave video, but since we got a theme going here, why not actually post it? Nick, Mick and the rest o' the Bad Seeds (plus a dapper Jarvis Cocker) work a mean line dance as you'll see here in the lodge-set "15 Feet of Pure White Snow":



And while we're at it with the NC...
Jen and I feel this might adequately represent the possibly-drunken karaoke days of our early twenties. Those of you that know us can offer opinions on who's who.



Favorite parts:
-the handshake
-the pantomimed looks up during "so pretty in the sky"
-Cave's steadying hand to MacGowan's back
-um, that this even exists.

Ok, Go here.

Like their music or not (and we admit, we go both ways depending on the song), OK Go has some top-notch videos. Better yet, band members participate (you might wanna sit down for this) without irony and with full-on enthusiasm. Hand claps and shit to you, boys.

This one for "A Million Ways" got 9 million downloads so far, according to Capitol Records:

And before anyone reems me for being late or says, "Jeez, that video is like so old!", I know it is, Shannon showed it to me when it first came out...or hell, maybe before. All I'm saying is, it's a point of reference...

...For this new one (New! Now with treadmills!), for "Here It Goes Again" that really shoots the band's choreography to a whole new level. I mean, there's obvious improvement here:


I totally forgive the hipster outfits for all the rehearsals this one required.

hey, did you hear...?

there have been all these music festival thingy events lately. pitchfork this. lollapalooza that. if you care to know what happened, just hit that next blog button up there -- everyone's talking about them, so chances are it should only take you a couple of clicks until you get all the info you need. i lost all of my cool kid points years ago, so i would've stuck out like a sore thumb anyway.

my new online hobby: hollywood stock exchange. in college we played something similar (i think it was called the rogue market) but it's basically the same game. you get a set amount of fake money, and then buy and sell star and movie stock as you see fit. there are some confusing aspects to it (i'm still trying to figure out what a call option on opening weekend really means, but i'm hoping my ricky bobby stuff will cash out at a decent amount) but i do know one thing: john mcclane is blowing up, just like we all knew he would. you guys should check it out and, if you're inclined to join, use me as a referral (squee_23) so that i can earn more fake money....my mother would be proud.

that's what they all say

unlike a trip to the grocery store, i spent more money than merritt last night. chalk it up to beers (the annoyingly bad bartender at the cavern was surpisingly efficent last night) and buying an el boxeo cd. what can i say, i'm a sucker for cute bassists. *slap on the wrist* i've been listening to brian's copy asobi seksu's citrus at work entirely too much lately, so i broke down and bought it last night at good records, along with a b. fleishmann cd (too lazy now to find something to link to), per the advice of the nice guy at good records who's name i can never remember...i'd advise you to do the same.

dammit. merritt told me last night to blog about something, but i can't for the life of me remember what it was. reminder please...

perhaps i'm just sidetracked due to the fact that i probably have a mailbox full of clive owen at home waiting for me...

Money and stuff.

Last night, Jen and I went out for some fun times. As commonly found in Dallas, fun times cost money. I looked into the breakdown.

Cash purchases:
Taco Combo at Taco Cabana: $5.
Perfect little latte from Gachet: $3
Admission to Cavern for fun times: $6
Total: $14

Charges (which, obviously, don't count):
3 sweet-n-tight albums from Good Records: $44.
Beverages at the Cavern: $12 (after tip, but even still, I only drank waters and Diet Cokes)
Total: $56 (that's upsetting)

Things that can't have a monetary value placed on them:
-Jen's hypothetical of "If Noah Taylor walked into the Cavern tonight would you strip to your underwear to make out with him?" (Answer: I'd try my best to work out a compromise, like moving upstairs to that really dark area first. But hell, I'd prolly marry the guy if he asked--he's had amazing roles like David Helfgott and Hitler and was also in Dogs In Space and a Nick Cave video for chrissakes.)
-Having a total stranger correctly determine which of two CDs I should purchase.
-Hearing 4 of my favorite songs randomly played by my latte maker.
-Sean's cover of "The Bottle Let Me Down"
-Being addressed with "What's up, Big Booty!" on Greenville Ave. (Answer: Not a lot. What's up with you, Tiny?")
-Finding out that the police impound lot is not open 24 hours (despite what the recording says) after taking a friend to pick up his wrongfully towed vehicle.
-Having my cat wake me up after I accidentally turned off my alarm and discovering I had only overslept by a few minutes. Thanks Finny!
-Typing this while listening to one of said sweet-n-tight albums: Destroyer's Your Blues.

"Tonight, tonight, tonight, oh, oh."

Go to the Cavern.
The line-up is:
El Boxeo (headlining)
Ghostcar
Shiny Around the Edges
Sean Kirkpatrick

Doors at 8 p.m.
Show at 9 p.m.

Be there at 9 sharp if you like kick ass piano players and you know what's good for you!

Update: Mmm, Milk

So apparently, the milk reviews have blown sky high. The review I quoted in the last post has been bumped about four pages back by new reviews left since posting...one of which includes the word "shart" (yeah, i know. wow.) and another which is simply the Gettysburg Address. Some are totally excessive and stupid and some had me laughing my ass off.

Enjoy...just be sure to check for freshness.

and now for today's lesson

for those of you who don't take advantage of google's word of the day (really, what's wrong with you people who don't want to learn?) i bring you today's:

schwarmerei • \shvair-muh-RYE\ • noun : excessive or unwholesome sentiment

Example sentence:The poet's later works are refreshingly free of the schwarmerei that hobbled his earlier efforts.

find a creative way to use it in a sentence for tonight's homework. because i asked you to, that's why.



here's what else i've learned recently:

• mel gibson needs to lay off the hooch or fire and brimstone will rain down on his ass -- oh wait, i think it already started....
• castro's not doing so hot
• some girls don't know that sweet little baby talk to get what you want only works on guys -- and not even all of them
• it's completely acceptable to believe that the tom cruise/katie holmes baby is a scientology creation
• the sun is trying to kill me slowly
• george dubbaya's grandpa was buddies with ernst rudin and helped unanimously elect him president of the international congress of eugenics, a forerunner of the "wonderful" work he did in hitler's racial institutes

a high five to netflix for replacing my broken copy of the last kiss so quickly.

and a big suck it to comcast time warner for changing my cable last night without telling me. the new menu screens suck, as does the scroll stuff on the bottom of the screen. and the 4-channel-at-a-time listings. and the new new email addresses. and payments centers. blech on you. stewart got something in the mail last week -- where was my heads up at you guys?

Mmm, Milk.

Here's the deal. I hate milk. I can handle it to moisten cereal or to use in recipes but I hate drinking it unless there's some urgent reason I need to...and it's really cold...and the glass is completely opaque...and no lip prints occur.

I used to freak out at work when Rick would use an empty mini water bottle to bring milk to work for his tea. It looked so disgusting in there. And then there's the residue...or milk-water when you first rinse the container. But I really don't even want to go into that.

What I do want to do is share with everyone the funniest feedback I've seen in a longtime. Long live consumer reviews!!

I think my favorite might be this one entitled "Tuscan Whole Milk: The Devil's Dew," left by Nick Taylor:

Stay away from this! One single ounce of this inhumanly delicious concoction can cause entire villages to stray into the paths of Sodom and Gomorrah! The delicious nuances of real cow dance upon the tongue like a thousand pagans! I can only imagine what effects a full 128 ounces could have! Run, run away, lest you be tempted by the Teats of the Herd of Lucifer!

it's rex manning tim gunn day!

12 hours from now we will all know who gets booted from project runway. everyone's guesses for the unlucky one?

mine is keith (sorry, i love him too, but...)

question: so if you were pope, would you trust
<---these people to guard your life?

I Feel So Alone

Concerning Solitary :
For those that are interested in the organization, here's a link to Autism Speaks. Props to you, Steve (if you read this, which based on your comments, you might) for the donation. I think that Michelle was definitely touched by the act.

As for Cliff, I didn't think the hair joke was too harsh, but being a ChapStick devotee myself, I felt his pain.

Our pal works in LA on a great many reality shows and attests to your editing comments. PAs will definitely try create characters with restrictions and subtle guides, but a lot of what ends up on the editing room floor is what people at home would probably recognize about you. I imagine a lot of reality cast folk watch their shows and react with Mark's famous, "Aaaaah! Oooooh! That's terrible!"s.

Thanks for reading us, by the way. Your comments and candor are appreciated...even if we did make fun of your breakdancing.

here's what i learned from television last night:

gordon ramsey either (a)doesn't care which chef he's going to be associated with after hell's kitchen is over due to the insanse amount of money fox must be paying him, (b)is having mind-blowing sex with virginia, or (c)has been stealthily replaced by his not-so-evil twin. he really is letting some of those people get away with kitchen-murder. i have no idea what's going on with that train wreck of a show and i can't wait until next week's episode. yes, i'm a tv rubbernecker. i think i have to track down that sarah chick -- she must work and/or live in the neighborhood because of that autographed "thanks for the gas and beer and cigarettes" picture at the beer cave. she holds all the answers...

the solitary reunion was a waste of time. note to producers/host: i watched the season already. it just ended last week, so i don't need to be reminded of everything that happened along the way. out of the hour and a half long show, only about 15 minutes of it was worthwhile. number 7 (yes, you number 7) made a grand gesture by announcing that he was going to be giving some of his prize money to an autism-related charity in honor of number 2's daughter. that was very nice of him, i must admit. of course this was done after picking on cliff (not so nice) throughout most of the show, deserving of the only audience boos all evening. hmmm.

and the show du jour: the smoking room. you know me and my brits.