What do you think about during your annual pelvic exam?

For a while now, I've been contributing to Heartless Doll, the Village Voice's ladyculture blog. While it's edgy and covers important lady issues, it also provides its fair share of fun. I've been doing Top 10 lists and reality TV recaps for the most part, and I love it. I encourage you to visit the site. We dolls are currently trying to prove our mettle so we can continue to keep the blog up and running.

I'll add that I especially had fun with this 10 list of Things Thought and Talked About During a Pelvic Exam. I hope you enjoy.

In other news, Kenneth the kitten has been neutered but maintains his youthful craziness, so Otto, Jake and I wait patiently for him to calm the eff down.

What's Up Ninjas?

So here's a run down of what's been going on since we've not been paying much attention over here on Alex.

- Jen got a house and graduated from college. Big ups. Huge ups. Especially for the 3.9 GPA. How about a little applause? Yeah, that's right!

- Been working pretty hard and yet hardly working. Dad joke. In honor of John H. Martin's birthday this week, I had to.

- Jake and I got a dog. The handsome Henry. He and Otto are not getting along, but these things take time. He is a rather high energy doggie however, so last night he received his dinner in a snack ball. Roll for kibble, Henry! Otto observed from his roost on top of the refrigerator.

- We have some new blogs to share with you:
Geoff Johnston's The Hanging Brain. This is where Johnston does and says all the stuff you never expect anyone--with the exception of Geoff Johnston--to do or say.
Noah W. Bailey's Tha Juggalizer. After a recent video viewing of Insane Clown Posse fans (aka Juggalos) at the 10th anniversary "Gathering" celebrating all things ICP, Noah has now taken it upon himself to turn unwilling celebrity 8x10s into effing Ninjas up in this piece, yo. It's amazing how horrific "clown" make-up can make Angela Landsbury.

-You can also follow us on Twitter at @nerver or @squee_23 and if you play XBox, you can ask us for our gamer tags. We slay at Peggle!

What's new with you?

UPDATE: Henry was a sweet doggie but we discovered he had a taste for cat tail that couldn't be satisfied even after he unfortunately got a couple of bites of Otto's.
Otto is just fine now. His tail is no worse for the wear and he's calmed down a lot. The animal behaviorist we worked with agreed they could not live together and to return him was the best action, given Otto's traumatic past abuse and having no idea of Henry's early life. We were very emotional about the decision, but it turns out it was for the best because Henry has apparently found an awesome, loving no-kitty home!! I hope he got to take his loofah dog toy with him.

My New Favorite Blog

It comes from the Dallas Observer's own, but I don't think I'm biased. I think I'm just a grammar nut with a good sense of humor.

So let's welcome Everybody Needs a Copy Editor to the roll.
Best part? Submissions are encouraged. And c'mon, you know you've seen a sign or something with an awesome typo in the last--what? five minutes? Send 'em in, peeps.

D-Town Boogie

Check this, yo.
Introduction to D-Town Boogie from Dallas Observer on Vimeo.
My first bit part...the least I could've done was stand up straight. But Brittan rocks the house.

Halloween Memories

What with all the Obamania going on, I totally forgot to load up a pic of my prize-winning (I tied for Most Elaborate) costume! Now my beautiful little baby of a camera is missing. BUT! Alas, on Halloween, for voting purposes, IT Eric, gracious took some pics from my SD card so I'm still able to share with you my costume...appropriate to this very blog.

We had some kick-ass costumes at work overall though, so peep these, yo. And again, sorry for the delay. And if anyone picked up a Nikon CoolPix at Double Wide Wednesday, holler at me.
R to L: The White Witch, Aging Indiana Jones, Marty McFly and Doc Brown, David Foster Wallace and Rocky Raccoon.
R to L: Phone Sex Mother, Alex Trebek, Demon Warrior, Captain Hook, Hawaiian Punch, Ben Franklin, Dr. Phil head on Tom Leppert body and Geisha.

AmandaCobra, You Are My Funny

I don't care which side of the political fence you fall on, few things are funnier than when You Go Live In Utah's AmandaCobra decides to liveblog a McCain speech...and discuss "hockey moms."
Some snippets:

"9:00 - The podium rose out of the floor. I must admit, production value on this thing puts the Dems to shame. Did I mention that our candidate can reach things on high shelves?
9:03 - Another sign. "DRILL BABY DRILL". Points for vagueness. Points immediately deducted for sign being written on brown cardboard box with brand name still visible.
...
9:16 - Oh shit! Protester got in and has a sign about how McCain votes against vets. And he's getting camera time. And they haven't thrown him out. And he looks like Kevin Federline. Where's that macro?
...
9:44 - "We're going to send money to countries that don't like us very much"
WTF?!?!?! We're bribing France? Also, he's now stopping on every fifth word. Someone reboot him.
...
9:49 - Two black people. They aren't clapping. Could be press."

But those are just a few of my favorite observations. Do yourself a favor and read the entire thing.

Women's Chorus, Not Constantinople

Can't claim the find on this one. Pete at DC-9 gets credit. These ladies go to town on some They Might Be Giants. As I commented over there, I think the performance was lost on the audience. I could be wrong though. There could be a slew of TMBG fans at Women's Chorus events.

Welcome Stage Dumps

Don't know why I've never directed you to this site, because as bathroom humor-related as it is, it's freakin' brilliant. I admit I know some of the peeps that run the Stage Dumps blog, but that doesn't take away from the glory.
This is my personal favorite. (For the photo as well as historical reasons.)

Enjoy.

You Should Look At This Blog

What if there were no Garfield? Garfield Minus Garfield illustrates the possible mental illness of poor Jon Arbuckle.

Best Promo Ever

For the complete, original post, hit up Unfair Park here.

Frankly, I feel these were the true inspiration for Anchorman. If only there was mention of the Octagon.

On a National Level

With many thanks to frame-makin' master and Yankee Hubby Tom for the tip, here's the National's set at ACL. I will say that of all the acts I saw there, they definitely stole the show and that's not something I'd say just because I really like them. Andrew Bird, Bloc Party, Crowded House, Common, Steve Earle--they were all fan-effing-tastic, but damn, the National was able to top their Emo's show Saturday night with a 1:30 p.m. time slot Sunday in glaring sun. I don't know how that's done, but they did it.

Way delayed sidenote (sorry, family reunion threw me off schedule): Check out my photos from the festival if you're bored (but beware they'll appear much darker on a CRT monitor than an LCD).

(photo of Matt Berninger © Merritt Martin, 2007.)

Sing It!!!

OK, so Noah just tipped me off to my new favorite obsession: SingShot. I don't know which I love more, the peeps (like my friend from one of our favorite now-defunct blogs) that are obviously have more than a little fun with it, (Can't decide which of his renditions I like best but I think Love and Rockets might win. Ronnie Milsap's top notch too, though.) or the people who take the karaoke challenge a little, ok, way too, seriously.

Far Too Serious

Ladies and gents, welcome Rozie over at Far Too Serious to the fold. In honor (and because it's totally made my day repeatedly...like 80 times repeatedly), I present you with this, which she presented previously.

Ah Ha.

Before I head off to San Antone with the fella for a fun little not-in-Dallas weekend (yes, be jealous. be very jealous. hee hee), I thought I'd update you peeps on the Sanjaya video. (Not that you care, but we have to be credible here.) It was a joke. A Will Ferrell-related joke, no less.

Thanks for the link, Wee.

AVS is A-OK!

Go here now and buy the inaugural zine from one Allison V. Smith. Seriously, do it. Go now. It's got crazy awesome photos in it that she kicked out in 2006 (43 pages worth to be exact). Signed and numbered. It's 20 bucks (which, for the work of Ms. Smith, is practically nada). Full color, yo. For reals. Support local. Word.

Lesson: Don't Mess With a Cape Buffalo's Calf

This is so amazing (cape buffalo, lions and crocodiles):

A Brawl In The Safari - Watch more free videos

And if you're concerned about whether or not the calf makes it, just remember who posted it and relax.

Update in Angel Case

The reward for information concerning the Belmont/McMillan animal abuse case has now increased to $6,000 thanks to contributions from neighborhood citizens and businesses.

Avi over at BarkingDogs.org has also posted the story and forwarded it to more than 1,000 people on his mailing list. Nice work, Dog.

Rule #83: Don't Piss Off Widespread Fans

I have never seen anything like these comments (totaling 534 at the time I posted) to Darryl Smyers' "Widespread Yawning" article in this last issue of the DO. Um, wow. (I only got a measly 20 for my bash on American Idol DAUGHTRY. Must be losing my touch... I also must be a male according to those peeps, but whatever...)

Darryl, You've made quite an impact in Panic Nation. (I just really hope they didn't post your real phone number.) Hats off to you, man. The reaction is amazing.

UPDATE: Darryl address Widespread Panic fans/Smyers haters here on Unfair Park. Looks like that was his number...and that sucks more than I can say. If nothing else came from the barrage of comments, now nearing 600, at least they proved what he said in his story: WP fans tolerate no criticism. And apparently, they have no sense of irony or humor either.

New National

Over the last couple of years, The National has become one of my favorite bands. Moody, effed-up lyrics just like I like 'em, the low baritone/bass voice of Matt Berninger (that totally reminds me on occasion of the singer from Furniture and on others Nick Cave), heavy use of piano and a knack for what I like to call "building" songs makes them key players in the fight for placement in my CD player.

Thanks to Noah for looking at this first since I heard a song coming from his cube and excitedly asked, "That sounds like The National, who is that?" "The National," he responded. At which point I quickly clicked over here to witness the goodies for myself ("Fake Empires" from the upcoming release Boxer--which is also available for listenin' on the band's MySpace. Pitchfork also features a preview for the new documentary on them by Vincent Moon (!!!) so there's plenty to satisfy your five-minute-bored-at-work distraction needs.

Aw, You Guys...

This week in the DO, I put in my two cents on the new Arcade Fire, Neon Bible, and Noah and I get to IM'ing on the upcoming Andrew Bird release, Armchair Apocrypha.

Now, what we weren't expecting was a satire of our Bird review coming from Adam McGill and Eric Celeste (aka Awesome McFuntimes) over at D Magazine's Frontburner. Flattery, or making me laugh, will get you everywhere, you know. So thanks guys, corndogs're on me. Eric, see you next time on the dancefloor.