Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

Moments ago I sat quietly at my desk, enjoying my new copy of The Good, The Bad & The Queen and, well, working, when I was interrupted by an announcement that I had a package. K, nothing unusual. People get packages all the time. As you know, I recently ordered a Law & Order coloring book so naturally, I assumed that's what it would be. It wasn't. As my cohort Noah W. Bailey handed me the rather large package, I examined the label, figured it to be a promotional something, noted it was from Shreveport and got out the scissors.

From inside came a peculiar and sweet aroma. There were pink (pink) styrofoam peanuts. There was a white box with red ribbon and a heart gift tag. There was no actual name on the tag. Inside the white box there lie a press release (which I promptly set aside so as not to ruin the surprise) and dig below the golden tissue paper. First, I find the Chocoholics Chocolate Body Talk "Tattoo" Set, which of course comes with word stencils that can be made to say things such as "Kiss This," "Hot Love Spot," "Start Here" and various other combinations (my personal favorite being "This Good Eat"). Then there're the Chocolate Pen(s) in both strawberry (reported by Miss Jonanna Widner to "smell like Tinkerbell lip gloss and taste like Tinkerbell's ass") and chocolate (in my opinion, waxy, offensive and smelling, conversely, of Count Chocula's ass) flavors. Hmmm. I suppose those are for things the stencils can't cover. [At this point, my inner monologue just keeps repeating: Shreveport? Shreveport? White Russians, casinos and kink? I work a block from Cedar Springs and this is arriving from Shreveport?!] Then I find the Lovin' Touch "sensually flavored massage oil" from the Girl's Night Out Private Collection. Frankly, I don't want to know how something is sensually flavored or what "sensual" tastes like. A closer look reveals the flavor to actually be Candy Kiss Chocolate (Noah attests it tastes of chocolate, "and a little nutty"). A-ha. [WTF? Shreveport?]

To the press release. Turns out, this stuff is from Girl's Night Out, a romantic novelty company (that also offers what they refer to as "the latest in bedroom "O"fferings"). It's founded by women, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. Then I think...wait a sec. They're tapping into a concept that's been popular long before people started shopping for Valentine's Day 2007. Long before Burleson folk were getting arrested for hosting sex toy parties. Long before we attended a Passion Party (the Las Vegas to GNO's Shreveport. Funny, since PP is based out of LV.) once at some fellow staffers' house after being intrigued by the Burleson story...but whatever, it's not like I bought anything. Seriously. Promise. But then it occurs to me. Of course it's coming from Shreveport. If healthy, sexually adventurous peeps in Texas were getting thrown in the pokey for selling personal "pokers," why not ship 'em in direct to the customer from Louisiana? Or Nevada? Casinos have long been excellent distractions for myriad other sins. Oh, well. Whatever. I better get back to these stencils...I mean edits. (If you host a Girl's Night Out or a Passion Party, call me.)

Favorite Words

I was just thinking about some of my all-time favorite words. (In truth, words in general really get my blood pumping but I have key ones whose syllabic make-up and/or meaning truly make me smile.) I realize this is a pretty random post, so forgive me, but I'm feeling silly so deal...oh, and if you've got some favorites, please feel free to comment and add on.

pants. (no shocker there. it's my number one. also includes variations such as shortpants or panty.) triceratops. bean. rhubarb. grazie. gastroesophageal. toile. phantasmic. Choctaw. hummus. chiffonade. hirsute. beard. nuzzle. envelop. fascinate. machinations. gherkin. flamenco. balenciaga. prada. scooter. peep. kitty. peanut. gebertstag. kugelschreiber. wee. bit. repugnant. gnome. adore. kiss. creed. communion. saint. epistle. missive. arpeggio. scram. cacophony. coquette. instrument. rhythm. genuflect. intellect. tinker. scheme. nip. xenon. keebler.
This list could truly go on and on...

If You Weren't There Saturday, You Missed Out...

...but our super friend-o-Alex, Noah, has saved your ass at least where Dove Hunter was concerned at the Zac Crain for Mayor Benefit CD Release party at Good Records. He recorded some of their tunes and has posted them on that amazing YouTube.

Unfortunately, Sir NaptimeShake provides us with no footage of Erika of the Heartless Bastards' set or that of Baboon, wherein they played much of their badass lastest album. But here's "What Turns Inside" by Dove Hunter (which is also the song featured on the ZCFM07 album):


As well as "The Shore":

"I'm As Happy As Sin In a Fear-Shaken World"

They're back! I had seen this morning Crowded House would be on the Coachella roster, but the last trip I took to Coachella years ago seems to have drained my bank account for a return visit still today. I was sad, but then Mr. Grubbs sent me this link to a story that offers up news of a 12-month tour. (There's hope yet that I'll get to see my beloved kiwis live one more time...though sans original drummer Paul Hester, sadly.)


I took a vacation day today but had to rush an ailing kitty to the vet. After a shot (and some Freebirds for Mama) all is well and I shall pop in my Crowded House Dreaming: The VideosDVD and the 10th Anniversary Sydney concert to celebrate.

did that really just happen?

yet another sign that i'm a big fat dork: i need this pen. this magical metal pen that writes without ink or lead. yeah, you heard me. it's super cool and makes me happy, and i figured you'd like to see something nice before we discuss the scariest pseudo-barista in town!

so saturday we went to good records to support mr. crain and catch a couple of bands. after a couple of free beers (thanks guys!) some friends and i walked over to gachet. seems everyone in these parts loves gachet -- including myself. it's a fun, relaxing place and, up until now, i really liked and appreciated the people that worked there. the past tense is due to the crazy agro chick who was working saturday afternoon. i guess actually dealing with customers (she was upset by the extra business that the instore was bringing in) wasn't what she wanted in a job. to make a long story short (though the whole ordeal probably took at least 10 minutes), after being snippy with us about, among other things, drink sizes and her desire to not give us whipped cream, she decided to thank us for our patronage by THROWING M. PO's CHANGE ACROSS THE COUNTER. yup. pieces of metal went a-flying. after a moment of jaw-dropping awe, i asked what the hell that was for. her excuse? "it's my money." actually, no, i was standing in front of you waiting for it, miss. violently crazy. the sad thing is that i've heard several other people complain about service from the same girl. it's kinda scary. it kinda made me angry. it definitely made me think about where i'm supposed to get coffee from, lest i fall victim to some more of her wrath.

and how was everyone else's weekend?

Tomorrow...Aw, You Heartless Bastard

Tonight's...Like a Rolling Stone

They're Baaaack!

Yup! For a limited time, you can once again get the Law & Order coloring book and incredibly awesome SVU (and one new CI) valentines over at Brandon Bird's site. (Scroll down a bit on the link and you'll see.) Individual prints are also available signed and for a bit more dough.

My favorite? Definitely: "In the criminal justice system, you're considered especially gorgeous!"
Oh, and be sure to let me know who you're giving them to, as I've already bought mine.

Also, for the video game lovers in your life, there's this gem (now available as a $10 poster).

Hallmark, For Those Special Moments

The Baboon boys posted a very special bulletin today. One that takes us back about a decade...

On TV tonight:

The Hallmark Ch. @ 7PM C.S.T.
Wednesday January 17.

See the magic.

Yeah, that's right, the Walker, Texas Ranger episode featuring the late stalwart of Deep Ellum, Trees, and the then-four-piece band, reairs tonight thanks to Hallmark. They cared enough to send the very best.

ps. Bobsky over at Unfair Park had an anecdote or two on the subject, as well.

Happy 40, CJ!!

me and my lists

here's a little something to think about. the "unfilmables": a list of the hardest novels to film.

i, like many people, generally have issues with novels turned into movies, with the exception of wonder boys (even though there were a lot of differences in novel vs. film, the movie still had the same feelings, and i didn't sense that anything was "lost in translation"). as a rule i don't really look forward to seeing a book i love (or even like a lot) translated to the big screen because of the inevitable disappointment, but rarely have i thought about the aspect of is it possible to film the novel at all? a lot of times i "see" novels in my head when i read them so it's not as though it's impossible for novels to be visually represented, but i'm wondering, what novels, if any, would you guys add to this list (if you even agree with it)? is it a matter of couldn't or shouldn't?

Better Late Than Never, Right?!

Over at Unfair Park, you peeps finally get ole Noah's and my Top 10 o' 2006 lists...as well as the fairly hysterical list of Bobsky's resolutions. Go here.

It's Totally Real

(click on the photo for details, ie. my related post over at Unfair Park.)

the things i learn from wikipedia

i've been meaning to look up info about that "gustave" serial killer guy, the one that primeval is based on (supposedly a true story). we've been seeing the commercials all the time and have been wondering how some guy has killed over 300 people and is still at large, and we've never even heard of him much less know his last name. what if he shows up at the complex looking for a few more people to kill? hell, he could be your neighbor, right?

oh, don't worry -- it's a fucking crocodile. yeah, that's what i said.

damn marketing.


btw, if anyone can find these shoes for me, i'll love you forever.

two kinds of news

i know, i've been missing in action lately. i would like to blame the inventor of the knitting needle (and freaks and geeks) for that one. but i come to you with some good news, and some bad news. first the bad:


momofuku ando, the inventor of ramen died on friday. yes, some guy invented instant ramen (and founded nissan foods, the guys that bring us top ramen and cup noodles) -- it wasn't just a gift sent down from the gods to those of us who learned how to cook in a coffee pot.
i know what you're thinking -- jen, we're adults now. we don't eat ramen anymore. well, maybe you would if you had access to these, er, interesting recipes. or maybe not...


and now for the good news (for you guys at least, not so much for me): jeopardy! is having another online contestant test. yup. it'll be wednesday, january 24 (for those of you in the central or mountain time zones) and you just have to go here to register. that gives you two weeks to study and prepare, not that you'll need it, you brainiacs you. (unfortunately this test is off limits to those of us who took the test in march -- we dorks are out of the running until next year.)

Screw the King...

...The Thin White Duke turned the big 6-0 today.

In honor, a few of my all-time favorites:
"Ashes to Ashes"


"Be My Wife"


"Hallo Spaceboy" (live version)


"Speed of Life" (live version - Dallas 1978)

"Get It On"

My dirty scruff of an obsession, Nick Cave, and his peeps in Grinderman have a new single posted on the MySpace. In other news, the single of "No Pussy Blues" will be released officially, and appropriately, on my birthday (I'm sure that's no coincidence, of course. Ha ha.).

Call Me an Asshole...

...but I think this guy should get a lifetime of free subway rides, not just a year's worth. Cities are notoriously full of bystanders, but not this guy. Yeah, he got other "rewards," but c'mon, he saved a guy's life on the subway. Life. Subway. Life. Subway. Life's worth of subway. See? Exactly.

RIP Club Clearview

For full reports and details, Sammy over at Dd has the exclusive (he loves that word) scoop. We're just linkin' and clinkin' in honor of one of the clubs that housed many nights of our youth.

Now, we'll be honest, we weren't frequenting the joint much, if at all, anymore, but we look back on it fondly: rooftop games of Moods, vying for an empty stool, karaoke in what used to be Red, bear hugs from Greg, that one Valentine's show when Matty's Pixies cover band rocked ass, singing back-up for my sis on that hot and teensy stage, being able to find Suzy the 6-foot Canadian no matter how crowded it was, drunken antics galore and many, many, many bands. Ahhh, we miss those days...but we won't miss the lack of A/C. Peace out, Clearview.

Two Awesome Videos

I love both of these but for entirely different reasons:

This one is just amazing for a tech/cyber/anything that plugs in-ignoramous like myself:

Thanks goes to Noah (surprise, surprise).

And this one...well, anyone who knows me will understand why I love this one. Ricky Gervais and David Bowie, my love. It's from the next season of Extras so beware of the spoiler:

Thanks goes to Stewart for finding this one.

only in highland park

can a movie starring tom sizemore and katherine heigl have a box office take of a whole whopping $30. yup. that's what i typed. thirty dollars. i've spent more on dinner, but whatever. it's called Zyzzyx Rd. never heard of it? me neither, but someone around this town has, because the only theater it showed at was the regent highland park village -- the same place i saw the third lord of the rings movie in a half empty theater...

here's the trailer. you might as well watch it, cause this is probably the most we'll ever see of this movie:

Oh, Seriously, I Can't

It's too cute. It's WiiKitty.

Thanks to dtc, via WeeKitty.